On Symbols

I had the inspiration for this design recently thinking about how many people include horses and hawks in their logos, but how many can draw the finer details of their features by memory? I'm still feeling through the idea... loving how abstract it is and still forming my attachment to it.

Now I have the opportunity to sit with this image until another comes. I think it was like three years ago that the first idea for a logo came to mind. Hopefully I'll encounter certainty over this one or other options before that amount of time has passed again!

Either way, right now it is nice to associate myself my identity as a writer and with my relationship with the wild ones.

Where Do We Project?

Judgements and projections show up frequently in our experience as humans, but there is a pattern of places they more frequently surface. Judgements occur most commonly around or about where there is an inequality of authority. The very first place we experience them is in the parent-child relationship. Here the parent has the power and the child struggles to exert their own. The parent can obviously be despised by their child when setting a rule, and the child can be resented by the parent for disobeying their requests.

One of my teachers saw most relationships we experience in adulthood as a continuation of the parent-child bond. She was extremely talented in finding the ways in which we can project our frustration or issues with our parents onto other relationships in our lives. She really felt this way when it came to the employee-boss association. In my work with her, she identified so many instances of me projecting my parents on her that eventually I had to walk away. It was too much and began to repel me from my current, adult bond with my parents.

Then came life's test or, actually, two tests. I had a succession of two terrible bosses. Since I had walked away from the Freudian world view of my teacher, I gave myself free reign to project on to these people that were making my life and my co-workers lives miserable. It felt good to act out, spread gossip and generally hate these bosses. I loved that after the vigorous, over-examination of everything I did to have a place where I was free to be stinking mad.

To give myself credit I was not nasty full-time. I spend too much time in my own unconscious to stay well and be mean, but I allowed myself more license than my conscience would typically allow. It was liberating to not have to be polite all the time and, rather than being a victim as I had been previously, I was an empowered rebel. It turned out that I had to learn the Herculean task of sending love rather than hate to the first boss before that relationship could end and, as for the second, that ended as a result of me finding that my dream and reality no longer met in that position.

Fast forward a couple of years and now I find myself in an interesting situation. I adore who I work for and I am now in a position of authority subject to the unconscious projections of others. And, wow, did I take those on! I felt and heard all of their judgements and gossip coming my way. When my friends would criticize their own bosses I would feel that too. I hit a state of over-empathy with people in positions of power and out of my guilt for what I had done to my previous managers I let a most of it stick. Luckily, I have friends who know how to do extraction and I was able to clear the projections out of my field and start again with a clean slate.

So, what now? Having been on both sides of the coin in recent history I realize that I have a new paradigm in which to frame these relationships. This has little to do with our parents because they become just another place to project. Instead, it has everything to do with us. When we project onto others it is our unconscious pointing to what we need to shift. If we are mad about our bosses shutting us down we should be looking at where we are afraid to speak up and how to gain the courage to do so. If we feel like they are making our lives miserable it's time to look at how we need to shift our perspective so we can be happy. Sometimes this means leaving the job and other times it means taking responsibility for our own experience. In the end, it's up to us to decide.

(In this Photo: Like this drake mallard duck that decided to nap on my frozen pond this week, it's important to remember that there is a time for self-reflection about where we project and a time to rest on a frozen reflection of who we are and just accept who is.)

Musings of a Shamanic Cowgirl

I've known ever since I started my shamanic practice over five years ago that I needed to set myself apart to attract clients in the ever expanding sea of healers and modalities, but finding a way proved impossible. I sketched numerous logos, played with infinite mottos, but I could never define what made me special. I couldn't conceptualize my brand.

Now I understand how this happened. In finding shamanism, I had finally found my people, my place, my passion. I had a few short years in a shamanic arts school of like-minded people before being propelled back out in to the "ordinary" world. In the time in between now and then I've experienced a mix of social situations. I either have to explain to complete non-believers the basics of shamanism or I find myself trying to justify my gift to well-accomplished healers. Of course, I've also had the fortune of having some amazing supporters through the whole process. The result was that I learned to stay neutral and unattached to anyone seeing me a certain way while staying in the truth of my gift.

Let's face it, as a young (33 y.o.) person helping others with their toughest soul growth I'm in a unique position. Most of my peers and those younger than me are not looking for help yet. Over the years, almost my entire clientele has consisted of women nearly twice my age. It's been incredibly humbling that these women rich with life experience have been willing to trust me with their deepest work. Out of a great respect for my elders, I have not presumed to know better. Instead, I have presented my ability and experience as an offering to help them along their paths. I have learned to trust what Spirit was giving more than my own shadow of self doubt. I am grateful for this experience and see its necessity.

Now is the time to honor these lessons so I may carry them forward because, finally, the words to express my uniqueness are coming.

• My practice is a shamanic practice firmly rooted in the Earth with a strong scientific understanding of plants, animals, ecosystems, and natural processes.
• I have dedicated my life, my work to studying and helping the planet and the creatures on her. 
• As a child I was an avid student of power animals, energy healing and spiritual growth under the guidance of my mother and her circle of wise-women friends. This practice carried into adulthood and drew me to study shamanism. 
• I love rural living. I love driving my F250 diesel pickup, mucking horse manure, hauling hay, growing my own food, and putting up the harvest for winter. 
• I live on 38 acres in the mountains because having an intimate relationship with the land is of primary importance to me. I am committed to growing the vast majority of my apothecary myself or collecting it wild on my own land. 
• I am fascinated with the soul work that flourishes while taming wild animals and have found a perfect match in my rescued mustang mares. 

Out of this new ownership of where I am in life, I've received some divine guidance with a twist of youth and humor. 

"Shamanic Cowgirl" fits best who I am... both introspective and brave, humble and remarkable, sensitive and resilient. I look forward to sharing with you the brand and image that flow from this place. It promises to be a joy!